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Saturday 21 February 2015

a change & an urgent thought

Hola.

Now, I know I posted yesterday, but this couldn't wait. I have two things to say, the first is short, the second is the basis of this post.

1st thing: I emailed Tane from Fifth Out Of Ten about a new blog design a while ago. She's quite busy at the moment, so I don't think I'll have the new design for a while, but I've been deleting unnecesary things from my sidebar and simplifying my blog. I want my new design to be clean and simple. :)
Now, the big thing about the 1st point *deep breath* I'm thinking about changing my blog name. When I named this blog, it was The Teenager's Bookshelf. A few days later, I stumbled across my lovely friend Kenzie's blog, think. eat. write. read. And I loved her blog name. LOVED. And I still do. It's a gorgeous name. Me being me back then, I loved it so much that I decided to change my blog name to something similar. I wanted my blog name to reflect what my blog was about - thoughts, books, writing and ambitions. So I changed my blog name to what it is now - think. read. write. dream.
But now, I'm thinking I need a change. A clean slate, if you will. New design. New name. New me. I have changed a lot and I think my blog should reflect how I have changed as a person. I was thinking, seeing how my bookstagram account is so successful, changing my blog name to my Instagram username, Fiction and Tea. It's nice and simple. What do you guys think? Please comment below with your thoughts :)

EDIT: I have decided to change my name. As you can see, I've created a simple header with the new name, just so that Tane knows my name has changed and so that everyone else knows my name has changed. The lovely Mahnoor has offered to do a redirect for me so I'll eventually be changing my URL, probably to fictionandtea.blogspot.com. But this will all change in due time. Thank you all. :)

2nd thing, and the basis of this post: I went into town this morning - got some lovely new tea-for-one teapots - and on my way home, with a Greggs pasta pot in my lap, we stopped at a red light. I gazed out the window as I so often do, and saw  a homeless man sat with his back against the wall - not an uncommon sight in a town centre. It's a big city, so there are lots of homeless people on the streets.

But this man was sat on the outskirts, not begging, not seeking attention. He was staring at his legs, wrapped up in a blanket that looked like it had seen better days and he just looked so sad. I continued looking out the window and just before the red turned to green, he looked up at me. In the half a second that we had eye contact, his eyes looked so....desperate. And then I turned away, ashamed.

But ashamed of what?

As soon as the car pulled away, I was so close to crying. I did cry when we got home. But as soon as we drove off, I stared at my barely-touched pasta pot and wished I'd done something. I pictured myself opening the car door, running over and handing him my pasta pot. I know I couldn't have done that - it's dangerous and the light could have turned green at any moment. But I just felt deflated.

And I think it's because I looked away.

Why is it that we do that? Why do we look away when something is too hard to look at? When something is too awful and uncomfortable? The house is dark, the murderer is about to appear and we look away from the screen for that split second before we hear the screams.

I could have kept eye contact, poured sympathy and sadness into my eyes and said everything there is to say with no words. But I turned away because what is there to say? Everything and nothing. But really, what would keeping eye contact have achieved? Would he have felt sympathy or like a zoo animal? He might have misinterpreted my sympathetic gaze for a patronising stare.

How many people turn away whenever something slightly real intrudes on their life filled with useless objects that we take for granted? How many people ignore anything terrible that goes on in the world? How many people pretend that these awful things - homelessness, terrorism, discrimination - are not happening, or do not read into them in any serious detail to prevent the burden of knowledge settling over their lives? How many people try to live in ignorance?

I think I turned away, not because I'm one of the pretenders, not because I wish to live in ignorance, but because I was ashamed of looking and not helping.

I was ashamed of noticing and doing nothing.

I think we're all guilty of that.

- B
xxxx

20 comments

  1. Seems like alot of people are changing their blog names! I'll get back to you with thoughts xx

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    1. Really?! How weird! Aww thank you :) Please do let me know <3

      - B
      xxxx

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  2. That's great! A new slate . . . that may just be the exact thing you want. Oh and, if you want, I can vouch to clear up the blog make it plain before Tane comes along to work her magic (just so that the work is easier for her) and I can add a redirect for a new blog address if you want! I mean, surely you still don't want your blog address to be thinkreadwritedream.blogspot.com do you? Get back to me if you're open to the idea!

    mahnoorappledesigns.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah, a new clean slate. Everything fresh and simple. Wow, thank you, that would be great! Especially the redirect. Thank you so much. I think I've deleted everything I need to, but I would love the redirect. :)

      - B
      xxxx

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    2. Well, if you would add me as blog admin, I would be more than happy to do that :)

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    3. Email me through my site :)

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    4. Okey doke! Emailing you now :)

      - B
      xxxx

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  3. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful beautiful post Bethan! <3 <3 <3 I love it so much, it's so beautiful. You put it into words so well <3
    As for changing your blog name, I think that's a great idea! I love your name right now, but I love your Instagram account name! :)
    xo,
    -Anna <3

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    1. Aww, thank you so much Anna >.< That really means a lot! Thank you - I think I'm going to go for it :$ Deep breath! :)

      - B
      xxxxx

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  4. Sure, do whatever your heart desire. I agree with your story. I had something like that too. Yes, I think we are. Of doing nothing. Beautiful, thanks for sharing!
    - June
    http://weezasjournal.blogspot.com

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    1. I think I'm going to change it :) Thank you - I'm so glad people relate to this post and like it. I think I'll do more like this :)

      - B
      xxxx

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  5. That's so sad. I've felt like that too sometimes. :) I love your blog name, but I love your idea for a new one. It seems like everyone is changing their blog name and design. :)

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    1. It's so sad to think of how many bad things go on in this world. It kills me.
      Aw thank you so much - I think I'm going to go for it! Yeah, I just really like the idea of change. :)

      - B
      xxxxx

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  6. I love the name change, as well as the design going on. I'm sure by the time it's all done, everyone'll incredibly inspired (and maybe a little jealous as well). <3

    xxJordan Sky
    being-hidden.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww, thank you so much! I'm so glad. I was worried that you guys and myself wouldn't like the change, but I love it and the response I've been getting is all for change. :) Thank you!! <3

      - B
      xxxxx

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  7. It's so nice that Tane's designing your blog!! She's good - she designed mine to, if I remember rightly, The Blog Hermit, and I loved it (until I decided to change my everything a haha).

    Your blog name is *mwah*. Lovelovelove.

    But dude, the second half of this post if so deep, and I completely understand. Have you ever seen the film Kickass? Basically the main character is being beat up (and then stabbed) and this guy is at the window just looking at him, not doing anything, and then he looks away and if I remember, closes the blind. That's what this reminds me of. I don't know.. I know that what you did couldn't have really changed, but I think that it's bad for society to ignore those in need. This isn't a dig at you, I know you couldn't have crossed the road, but it's just like when you watch on the news about bad things happening to people when others do nothing, or just film it, it really makes me lose faith in humanity. Again, not a dig at you, because I just read this and it sounds a bit negative, but I honestly am not targeting you.

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. Wow I just wrote such a long comment ohmy a haha, sorry ^^

      Amy;
      Little Moon Elephant

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    2. Aha, it's fine, your really long comment made my day! :D

      Yes, her designs are beautiful ^.^ Awww, I'm so happy you like my new name! I'm loving the change. :)

      Thank you so much. I haven't seen Kickass but wow that sounds exactly like what I'm talking about. People just turn away and ignore. I know, I know you're not targeting me <3 Thank you

      Love yoouuu

      - B
      xxxxx

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  8. Awww....I honestly loved this post soo much. It was really inspiring.
    And your new blog name sounds amazing too. Mine's pretty average and boring.... I love the new design too. It's so light and clean <3

    - autumn
    http://autumnreadsandwritesallday.blogspot.com/

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    1. Awww, thank you so much - that means a lot <3
      Thanks! Noo, your blog name is lovely :) Naaww thanks! Hopefully Tane will do a nice little graphic or something >.<

      - B
      xxxxx

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Hey! Thank you so much for reading my blog and deciding to comment.

Please be nice!

I will reply to all comments. :)

- B
xxxx